Two weeks ago, I bought about a foot worth of white cloth as I had a pair of jeans I wanted to patch.
However, I was way too busy at that time and left that folded piece of white cloth somewhere on my desk. Directly within sight, so that I’d remember to fix my jeans.
A few days later, my neat freak streak got the better of me and I decided to declutter my desk. I ended up placing the white cloth somewhere else in my room.
Now, I want to fix my jeans and have no freaking clue where the cloth is, despite racking my brains for almost three days.
FML. Welcome to my world.
In view of recent developments at home – mum getting her very first iOS device last week (the white iPhone 4), and the family maid acquiring a laptop last night – I decided enough was enough and decided to tack the following sign on my door.
This is not the technical support centre!
The hastily handwritten sign now joins three existing passive-aggressive signs on the door.
Bottom line: No entry. Kthxbai.
Hey, I am not the technical support hotline. :(
And to put it very aptly in my dad’s terms, mum + iPhone = iSuffer.
So I spotted this black dot on the ceiling and wondered what the heck it was.
After examining it a little closer (by standing on my bed), I deduced it to be a spider and wanted it dead like, nao. Creepy crawlies are so not welcome in my room.
I went outside to fetch a newspaper, intending to throw it upwards horizontally. This is so that it will nicely smack said spider and fall back down with its carcass, allowing me to pick it up and throw it away.
Arriving back in my room with my choice of weapon, I took aim.
Ready, get set, fire. The newspaper went flying upwards … in the wrong direction. It went up vertically instead, smacking the ceiling next to the spider with a loud thwack, and basically knocked the spider off the ceiling … causing it to land somewhere, quite possibly still alive.
Gosh, my aiming sucks. Fail #1.
And the spider still could be crawling somewhere in my room. Oh, damn it.
After a short hunt around, I decided to give up and resume whatever I was doing before having spotted that dratted thing … and that was when I spotted that dratted thing again.
Still on the ceiling.
I was puzzled. I thought I had already knocked it off the ceiling? Unless that spider had legs that allowed it to crawl at the speed of light? Or … were there two spiders instead?
Totally not relying on my own sucky aiming anymore, and called my mum for help.
Minutes later, mum stood on my bed, closely examining the black speck on the ceiling. Her face took on a puzzled expression, before she eventually burst into sniggers.
“Brenda, this is not a spider. It’s a housefly!”
Enemy identification fail. And that’s fail #2 for the day.
So, that explains how it could get back on the ceiling so quickly. At least there are no spiders after all, I wouldn’t like them spinning webs in various corners of my room.
The housefly is still at large. Darn it.
And I still can’t really tell insects apart at my age. Oh, how embarrassing.