Hello, I blog!
I share all my sporadic and toilet thoughts in here, because I am random like that.
Managing people
I never thought I was someone who’s good with people. I talk a lot, yes. But being mildly extroverted does not mean I’m a natural at dealing with people.
Take me, for example. I’m hypersensitive. I take offense easily. But this also inevitably leads to me worrying too much about offending other people. This is both good and bad.
What’s ironic is despite how I tend to worry about offending people, I still speak my mind. Sometimes, way too liberally. But I often try to structure my sentences in a way that brings my point across without coming across as too rude or harsh. (May not be successful all the time, but at least I try.)
There’s also the occasional time where I become a bit too passionate about what I’m talking about and end up speaking in a highly exaggerated, agitated manner – leading people to think I’m mouthing them off when actually, I’m not.
Then again, that’s because I’m too highly strung about how other people think.
The reason why I’m now watching my interpersonal relationships more closely is my change in career environment.
I’ve been with this startup company since the beginning of the year. I’ve an awesome partner in crime in one of my favourite fields of work which is UX design. But I also have to oversee several fresh faces in the team who are completely new to the startup scene and the tech industry.
Given my perfectionist nature, I wanted everything to be in its place and up to speed at all times and yet give ample room for the freshies to grow.
I never liked micromanagement and dictatorship. I’ve been at the receiving end before at a previous job. I know how it’s like to be belittled. I know how it’s like to be looked down upon. I know how it’s like to simply carry out the desires of others with little room for own input. And I can honestly tell you, the feeling sucks.
So, when it came to my turn to oversee people in a fresh new environment, I didn’t want to make the same mistakes. I don’t want to stifle. I don’t want to belittle. I want to give constructive criticism and yet still make people feel empowered with new knowledge.
It isn’t easy, and I still occasionally feel like I’m stepping on toes.
Like how I occasionally get too animated when trying to provide feedback or constructive criticism. Thankfully, my hypersensitive self tends to pick up hints of annoyance or when a person is getting demoralized – sometimes hints that are not even there – allowing me to react accordingly. But I still feel bad afterward.
I want to be the type of person that offers gentle yet firm guidance and support.
It ain’t easy. Because human nature causes us to constantly want to be one-up above others. But it crushes, disheartens and discourages. And after what I’ve been through before, damn right I don’t want that to happen to anyone.
Managing people can feel like rocket science. But I’m willing to invest time and energy in this kind of rocket science. The gains from having positive team morale is absolutely priceless.
Humankind – Eet ees doomed!
A best girlfriend has summarized what I generally feel about humankind oh so beautifully in her blog.
life is unfair, and that is personally a huge problem area, as i, for the life of me, cannot stand injustice – and day after day, i see things, hear things and read things which enrage me. things showcasing the hard fact that people are cruel, selfish, inconsiderate and evil, that they love stereotyping, gossiping, slandering, elevating themselves and putting others down; that people continuously repay good with evil and i remember asking c. in tears and consternation, “how can people be like that? why are people like that?†and i repeatedly asked where human decency was. (source)
I too, find myself asking the same question time and time again.
Even though I’ve long accepted the fact several years ago that the human race is doomed, I still find myself getting shell-shocked (which later leads to extreme fury) at the many injustices that human beings do to one another.
The prevalence of the internet only makes it all worse. The cloak of anonymity further releases one’s inhibitions, leading human beings to do further wrongs to one another without fear of reparation – although that is a separate issue altogether.
It was only today I discovered that – while I always thought I was a realist – there are several aspects in which I am more of an idealist than a realist. Human behaviour is one of these aspects.
Then again, who am I to judge? I have been dealt with much shit from some people around (which too, made me yell “why the fuck are people like that?”). But likewise, I have also been dishing out my fair amount of shit to other people. So all’s fair and square I guess. For now.
I still cling on to the hope that somehow, someday things may change.
That people will act with more consideration for other people, to pay more attention to others’ feelings, to learn to see things from other peoples’ point of view, to think more logically than emotionally, and for people to be more aware of what they are doing (perceptual salience of oneself leads to one’s conscious attempt to portray oneself more favourably).
But yeah, too lofty hopes up there.
Meanwhile, I’ll just live my own life and not let any of the shit get me down, or get in my way. When it comes to creating my own happiness, I will have to take charge – because the world is too screwed up to derive happiness from any other source. Not to mention how I have awesome friends for support. (And them, likewise!)
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