Hello, I blog!
I share all my sporadic and toilet thoughts in here, because I am random like that.
Cousins united (among the din of kids)
Gee, it’s been such a long time since the four of us took a proper photo together. (Okay, I lied. Our last photo had been early this year – but this is the first one in a long time where all of us look decent.)
Sticking together since young – the awesome foursome.
Clockwise from top left: David, me, Jeremiah, Matthias.
I look really tiny here.
The above was taken during a double celebration within my extended family – my uncle’s birthday, and the 1st birthday of his second grandson.
As usual, I came face to face with so many people I didn’t know. But then again, since when do we attend a large family gathering and not find any faces we don’t recognize?
Apart from the usual members of my extended family who meet on a regular basis – there were vast amounts of people from what I call, “the other extended family” – namely, the extended family of my cousin’s wife.
Kids, kids, everywhere
Boy, “the other extended family” really did know how to reproduce! Look at all the KIDS.
They ran around the living room, screaming their lungs out, shoving toy guns and all sorts of thingamajigs all over the place. They fought over balloons. They pushed each other. They threw themselves on the floor and kicked and screamed.
One kid crawled under my legs while I was seated – which made me jump up and yelp.
And another stepped on Jeremiah’s foot – which was recuperating in a huge cast after a recent operation. (Props to him for not jumping and yelping, though.)
And boy. Not only are they rowdy kids – they’re a bunch of smart alec rowdy kids.
There was one occasion where I shouted (to make myself heard over the din) at them to play outside the house instead of around the living room where plates and cups are precariously stacked, and the adults struggling to watch television.
The response I got?
“YOU WANT US TO PLAY ON THE ROAD AND GET KNOCKED DOWN AND DIE, IS IT?”
– Kid in the orange sleeveless tee.
?!?!?!
Pfffffft, never heard of the garden and the backyard, is it?
More babies on the way?
I received news that a cousin (J) is expecting her second child. (Which makes the fifth kiddo from the fourth generation on the way.) I’ve another expecting cousin as well – although I’ve learnt of her pregnancy much, much earlier.
And it seems that my reactions towards each pregnancy are becoming more and more varied.
Eight years ago, when I received news that my first nephew is on his way, my response was an enthusiastic “Oh my gosh, that’s fantastic!”
Two years ago, upon learning about my upcoming second nephew, my response was a mere “Mmmmmph!”
Last year, when I learnt that the third nephew was coming along, my response was a sharp squeak – “Another boy?!?”
A couple of months ago when I learnt that another cousin is pregnant with her second child (in two years), I reacted with a … “WHAT?!? You mean they’re so bored they have no other form of entertainment at night?!?”
And after tonight’s news? I leaned towards my mum and whispered “Whose condom broke?” Needless to say, my speechless mum couldn’t garner any response.
Later on, J confessed that she decided to have a second child because Little Joshua (her first child, now seven years old) wanted her to.
I immediately had mental images of Little Joshua approaching both parents and asking – “Mummy, Daddy! Can you two have sex? Pleeeeeease?” and couldn’t stop cracking up after that. Hehehehe.
Guess who got locked in the toilet?
Had a family reunion-cum-hangout session at my aunt’s hotel room in Fairmont Hotel this evening.
Decent place, lovely view and the toilet was like whoa – white, classy and modern. Cousins settled on the bed with their eyes glued to the television set, while the adults settled at a nearby table for a round of cards.
That was when I decided to use the toilet. (For obvious reasons.)
Closed the door, latched it, did whatever I had to do, washed hands and then proceeded to unlock the door and get out.
The last two steps failed.
Stupid door refused to unlock. The stupid latch was jammed in place.
That was when I yelped, and sent everyone outside scurrying over to the toilet door. (At least, that was what I thought – because all of a sudden, I heard a lot of talking and footsteps outside my door.)
Then, I heard Aunty Olive yell.
“OH SHIT! I FORGOT TO TELL BRENDA NOT TO LOCK THE DOOR! THE LOCK IS SPOILT!”
Now, she tells me.
More murmurings could be heard from outside and I heard that apparently – my cousin David had been locked in this very same bathroom in the afternoon, and all efforts at prying the door open using normal means failed. Engineers had to be called in to force the door open with a screwdriver.
My Uncles then began using metal spoons to open the door in a similar fashion – but failed. The stupid door just refused to open.
Housekeeping was called to report the issue.
Ten minutes later, no one had arrived and I was starting to get really agitated. (Yes, I know that the toilet is all modern and classy and all, but I wouldn’t like to be stuck there for an extended period of time with nothing to do except for when I need to have a good shit, thank you.)
Uncles continued to fiddle with the door, and even my mum and my grandmother attempted to have a go at attempting to open the door. Of course – likewise, all attempts failed.
Housekeeping was called again.
Still, no one arrived. Those bums were taking their own sweet time to tend to this issue.
Cousin David attempted to keep me company from outside the door (and likewise, also attempting to pry the lock loose), but it’s hard to have a normal conversation with someone when you can’t even see his face. (Perhaps the same reason why I hate phone conversations.)
Then, one of my relatives dialed for the manager.
The doorbell rang within five minutes. More footsteps were heard as my relatives scurried over to the door. Then, I heard someone jiggling the handle, sounds of scraping metal and the next thing I knew – the door flew open.
Unfortunately, that’s not the end of the story.
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