Hello, I blog!
I share all my sporadic and toilet thoughts in here, because I am random like that.
Hereby I remain, a monoatomic individual
I’ve reached the age where I’m increasingly seeing more and more people within my own circle tying the knot and starting their own families.
Whao. Where have all those years gone to? It still feels like yesterday where we first met one another in school or perhaps, having childish pillow fights during a vacation. The feeling is surreal.
Being officially in my mid-twenties now, I’m starting to feel the implicit societal pressure.
I’m 25 years old … and single for the full 25 years of my life. Yet, I’m beyond happy and absolutely satisfied with life right now.
Is there something wrong with me for feeling that way? Well, I don’t happen to think so.
But it seems like the rest of the world does. Remarks from relatives about me still existing as a single entity, attempts at matchmaking, the mortified expressions and disbelieving looks upon learning I’m happy being independent without feeling that I need a partner to be whole. These reactions pour in like lava and constantly make me question, well, what’s so wrong about being single?
Nothing, for sure. I’ve full control of my own time and I don’t need to account for anyone else other than myself. I’m fully enjoying singledom, apart from the occasional awkward clashes with folks who believe in the existence of the family unit.
Last weekend, I was caught in an unfortunate situation where a middle-aged lady suddenly grabbed me during a wedding and cooed about how cute I am (yes, awkward situation it was) and upon learning I was in my mid twenties, exclaimed “wow, so your turn to get married will soon come!”
“Err, I don’t think so,” was my barely enthusiastic response. She gave me a raised eyebrow.
“Why? No boyfriend? Awwwwwww, a girl like you shouldn’t have a problem finding one!”
“Well, I don’t want one. And I don’t want to get married,” said I. Her look of confusion turned into one of pure horror.
“DON’T SAY THAT!” she rebuked me, while I shrugged and made my exit. Oh well, I said it anyway.
Well, it ain’t easy being an independence-seeking, asexual girl in a conservative Asian society where the general mindset is that every individual should exist in a pair.
I’m not ruling out the possibility of me ever being half of a pair but I’m not going to do it just because it is something ‘expected’ out of me.
Everyone has different expectations with regard to what they want out of their lives. Some seek security, I thrive on unpredictability. Being part of a couple may mean the world to most but for me, being single is my world.
Hurrah!
The deviant child
It’s not easy being the deviant child in a world full of norms and conventions, and expectations. You receive loads of frowns, disapproving looks, and remarks brimming with barely concealed skepticism.
Conformity is dead.
That fact that I:-
1. Refuse to put on a mask in a two-faced society, of which its notoriety strips people off who they are at heart and become someone else altogether; what society wants them to be and not what they want to be.
2. Choose to work in a dynamic start-up known for their instability and susceptibility (bearing in mind the cold hard fact that 9 out of 10 startups fail) because of rather than take the conventional route of looking for work in a Big 5 Company or an MNC.
3. Choose to chase my own dreams and do what I want to do despite its risks. Rather than “making practical choices” or going with “what works and is more likely to succeed”.
4. Am an asexual being in an Asian society where coupledom, marriage and starting a family is much encouraged (or even expected), and being surrounded by friends who all have partners themselves.
5. Am the only tomboy in an extended family full of pretty faces – both sides of the family, material and paternal. All my like-gendered cousins are drop dead good-looking. No doubt. And very feminine. Whereas I choose to prance around in tees, jeans, caps and sneakers.
(Until today, I’m pretty sure the aunts and uncles think something, somewhere has gone horribly wrong. We all know the older generation – any form of deviant behaviour is a defect to them.)
6. Refuse to betray in the face of an increasingly vindictive society. In a world where politics and boot-licking are rife, I choose to play fair by competing based on ability and skill.
7. Defy authority. Not to the point of breaking the law. But basically, challenging conventional, old-fashioned behaviour, or rules meant to ‘put you in your place’ or to ‘ensure conformity’.
8. Am an Atheist in an extended family of Christians and Catholics.
– makes me deviant on almost all possible angles.
(Note: Not all mentioned conventions, per se. Some of which are increasingly common behaviour in which new players are “expected” to take on, otherwise “they’d be at a disadvantage”, so to speak.)
The fact that I am deviant and (usually) unable to hold my own in a verbal dispute makes me particularly vulnerable. My mind may be rife with my own thought-processes, which I am unable to properly articulate because emotions take over very quickly. I stutter like hell.
This means that I’d better grow a solid pair of balls. Fast. Before I lose my ground against someone who comes along and stares me down like I’m some freak of nature.
I am beyond proud, and happy to be who I am, and where I am now, and I do not want to lose that.
What are your deviant traits and how do you stand your ground against your sceptics?
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