Hello, I blog!

… this is the sleep apnea variant of “you don’t look sick!” – the common (but unwanted) remark I get. But unlike the latter, this remark actually makes a lot of sense because this was a shock to me too.

Oops, I’ve disappeared for close to two months. Let’s just say that too many things have happened during this period.

Last month, I was in the hospital for close to 2 and a half weeks for an acute URTI (upper respiratory tract infection) and asthma that went full gangster on me. Then, it led to a secondary URTI because of my immunocompromised status. (Also adding to the drama was 3 blocked IV lines and getting poked a grand total of 10 times.)

And if things weren’t dramatic enough, I was diagnosed with a severe form of sleep apnea in the midst of all this.

What is Sleep Apnea?

It’s a breathing disorder which occurs while you sleep. Basically, you stop breathing for multiple seconds at a time.

As your oxygen saturation drops and carbon dioxide builds up in the body, your body’s autonomic systems will rouse you from your sleep to breathe.

The consequence of this is, due to the multiple (breathless) awakenings it’s impossible to be well-rested.

There are two main types of sleep apnea – Obstructive Sleep Apnea (OSA), where your airway collapses and gets blocked, which causes you to stop breathing. Then, there’s Central Sleep Apnea (CSA), where your brain fails to send a signal to your respiratory system to breathe.

Mine is mainly OSA, with some episodes possibly caused by CSA. At my worst hour, my breathing stopped 54 times with the longest episode lasting 49 seconds.

I can’t even hold my breath this long when I’m awake!

Who does it affect?

Risk factors for this illness include:

• Being male
• Above 50 years old
• Overweight
• History of smoking
• Any pre-existing respiratory condition (eg. asthma)

I only fall into the 5th category, and patients my age and demographic (I’m within the healthy weight range, towards the lower limit + don’t smoke) are considered uncommon.

How is it treated?

The treatment is to be hooked up to a Continuous Positive Airway Pressure (CPAP) machine for the rest of my life when I sleep.

It forces air into my airways at a fixed pressure. When it detects I have stopped breathing, it ramps up the pressure to force air into my lungs to ventilate me artificially.

This brings new meaning to “I woke up like this!”

This whole set up is uncomfortable, but I have no choice but to adapt.

In future when borders open and travel becomes a thing, I need to bring this machine with me on my explorations. (That is, if this pandemic ever ends.)

The other option is surgery, which is less-preferred due to the risks involved. Also, it’s not foolproof and there are several patients who have undergone surgery but still end up needing to use the CPAP machine nightly.

How am I coping?

Well, initially I wasn’t doing great. At the end of last month, I’m was still struggling to come to terms with this new diagnosis. It came as a rude shock when there were just so many things that was already going on.

And knowing I have to be hooked up to a machine at night for the rest of my life? It’s a huge bummer.

For a while, I was on a trial CPAP machine loaned to me when I was still in the hospital, which honestly looked like a relic from the 1990s. Then, I got my own white Philips Respironics Dreamstation CPAP machine that I named Casper (I name ALL my devices), which looks so much better next to my bed.

Casper by my bedside.

If I need to be hooked up to a machine for the rest of my life, at least make sure it’s a pretty one lah. I’m such an aesthetics person. :P

My inner geek also appreciates that this machine can sync with a mobile app via bluetooth, so I can keep track of my treatment everyday. It has nifty graphs and numbers which both my doctor and I appreciate.

Meanwhile, I’m just numbing myself by reading plenty of books and watching my favourite shows. In between, I’m just stoning and trying to hold it together, and also trying to get some work done and be a useful human being.

Just wanted to update that I’m still alive and surviving.