After more than 4 months of non-stop battling and being away from work for more than 2, I’ve come to several realizations.
I am generally someone who is used to setting schedules. Complete task A by next week, achieve task B in 2 days. That sort of thing. I like milestones. It’s just my programmer’s/management instincts at work. Progress has to be in the form of something trackable so I feel more encouraged.
But apparently, you can’t force a schedule on your body’s recovery.
I’ve aimed to “get well by June”. Didn’t work. “Okay, two more weeks to settle things.” Didn’t work either. “Okay, I give it until end of July.” Nope, nope, nope. The fever continued and I got more and more frustrated.
Eventually, I decided to let my body set its own pace. And I put myself into zen mode. Stop forcing my body, stop overthinking, overanalyzing. Just do what I need to do to help – complete rest, lots of water, meds.
Instead. I set schedules on my action plans. If I don’t feel better in 5 days, do X. If minimal improvement in 2 weeks, do Y.
X and Y may or may not help. Usually it doesn’t. But at least, it’s some semblance of control. This whole thing was seemingly out of my control and I didn’t like it.
Not giving up, and looking forward to better days.
Dear parent sitting in front of me in The Endocrine Clinic last Saturday.
Your child was just being curious and exploring the waiting room. He was not disrupting anybody. He was just touching things, opening (empty) drawers, smiling at random people and satisfying his natural curiosity.
Even the clinic assistants were so smitten by him. He had run into the reception areas several times but still, he wasn’t getting into anyone’s way. He even had free sweets from the clinic assistants, who told him to “give some to your mummy and daddy, okay?”
So why oh why did you grab him so bloody hard that he started crying out loud?
“Why I ask you to come back you never come back? (sic)”
“I told you not to touch anything, so why you still touch? (sic)”
“I told you to sit down, why you still walk around? (sic)”
Please let the kid be. Kids are naturally curious. It’s not wrong to be curious.