Yesterday, Mom and I had a conversation about a cousin’s personality, about how X had become really a really quiet individual after he grew up.
“Yeah, he’s too quiet. That’s not good. He must change.” – says Mom.
For some reason, that annoyed me.
“What’s wrong with being quiet and introverted? That’s not a defect. That’s just the way he is and we should just let him be him!” I retorted.
Mum fell silent, considering my words.
Why do we live in a world where people are so obsessed with finding flaws with others and constantly trying to change other people?
Another conversation this time, where I spoke with a friend about how I was slightly struggling with my personal identity switch from being single to being part of a couple.
“Well, the single part. That was something you had to change,” she pointed out.
The fire within got re-ignited. And I suddenly recalled another conversation (more like an annoying encounter) with my dad’s acquaintence where he badgered me incessantly about “Got boyfriend or not (sic)? Where is your boyfriend?” when I’ve all but met him only five seconds ago.
Why is there so much vitrol against single people?
What is wrong with being single?
Don’t get me wrong. Although I am happily part of a couple now, I was also happy being single back then. And each time I have an encounter like this, I cannot help but still want to speak out for all the single folk out there.
I have a 60-something aunt who has been single all her life. I really respect her. She has had a fruitful career and is now happily retired and travelling the world, living life on her own terms. She’s freaking brave and I love it.
Conversely, there are couples who eventually get married and set their own terms together. Some choose to have kids and are happy. Others choose to not have kids and they are also happy, living life without any additional obligations and taking on the world together as a pair.
People are happy.
Let people live their lives on their own terms. (Within legal limits, of course. I’m not advocating extreme shit that harms other people).
More like, shall we not force people to fit into a mould?
Yessss, this is it.
I’ve booked my #SOLOYOLO trip for the year. Heading up to Vancouver next month, and hoping to make a side trip to the USA to catch the total solar eclipse.
I have been eyeballing this eclipse for years.
But honestly, I dawdled making the booking for many reasons.
1. Air ticket price. ($2106 on Cathay Pacific Airways is just, ouch.)
2. Another cousin couldn’t make it. And I was hesitant on making the long trip there on my own.
Actually, the air ticket price fell many times this year to $1790 and I had many chances to book. But reason number 2 was holding me back.
Granted, I took a trip to Hong Kong last year and I was going solo 50% of the time. I really liked exploring places on my own in a city I really loved. And there’s something about travelling alone that is really liberating.
Own time own target. (I can set my own pace. And pace is very important to me because my energy levels are very limited.)
Loads of self-discovery. Every experience alone reinforces what I like and what I don’t, what excites me and what doesn’t. I don’t usually reflect much on these thoughts when I’m with other people because distractions, and people sometimes alter the experience.
Feeling of independence. Enough said. Why company is always nice, I also enjoy doing things alone.
But Hong Kong is only 4 hours away. And Vancouver, 16 hours excluding transit time.
I’ll be far away from home.
But then again, both are cities that are somewhat familiar to me. And I’d be staying at a cousin’s place anyway so I’ll still have company.
When the price dropped to $1690 last weekend, it was a sign.
So I made the booking.
Now, to settle the eclipse portion of the trip and get rid of the butterflies that have started to form in my stomach.