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I write with no particular theme in mind, because I am random like that.

Aug
05 2017

Why must people “change”?

Yesterday, Mom and I had a conversation about a cousin’s personality, about how X had become really a really quiet individual after he grew up.

“Yeah, he’s too quiet. That’s not good. He must change.” – says Mom.

For some reason, that annoyed me.

“What’s wrong with being quiet and introverted? That’s not a defect. That’s just the way he is and we should just let him be him!” I retorted.

Mum fell silent, considering my words.

Why do we live in a world where people are so obsessed with finding flaws with others and constantly trying to change other people?

Another conversation this time, where I spoke with a friend about how I was slightly struggling with my personal identity switch from being single to being part of a couple.

“Well, the single part. That was something you had to change,” she pointed out.

The fire within got re-ignited. And I suddenly recalled another conversation (more like an annoying encounter) with my dad’s acquaintence where he badgered me incessantly about “Got boyfriend or not (sic)? Where is your boyfriend?” when I’ve all but met him only five seconds ago.

Why is there so much vitrol against single people?

What is wrong with being single?

Don’t get me wrong. Although I am happily part of a couple now, I was also happy being single back then. And each time I have an encounter like this, I cannot help but still want to speak out for all the single folk out there.

I have a 60-something aunt who has been single all her life. I really respect her. She has had a fruitful career and is now happily retired and travelling the world, living life on her own terms. She’s freaking brave and I love it.

Conversely, there are couples who eventually get married and set their own terms together. Some choose to have kids and are happy. Others choose to not have kids and they are also happy, living life without any additional obligations and taking on the world together as a pair.

People are happy.

Let people live their lives on their own terms. (Within legal limits, of course. I’m not advocating extreme shit that harms other people).

More like, shall we not force people to fit into a mould?

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