Hello, I blog!
I share all my sporadic and toilet thoughts in here, because I am random like that.
Everyone is special in their own way
In the midst of my health insurance application right now and I can’t help but feel a little marginalized. And I’m pretty sure anyone out there with any form of medical history would be feeling the same way too.
In fact, some form of marginalization will definitely occur if you’re anywhere less than in perfect health, insurance or otherwise. I still clearly remember my part time waitressing stint at Swensen’s in 2005, when my manager grumbled aloud about how he sent one of my floor-mates back because she was feeling giddy (which was a nice gesture actually) which was then followed by “Can’t stand this kind of sick people. So useless and a waste of time only!”
That was then I promised myself that I’d never fall sick because this kind of managers are pretty much everywhere.
The point that ‘one should not be a sickie’ was further hammered in when I filled in my internship application for a local airline company in 2007, which asked for a medical history so detailed I felt I was applying to be in the police force instead of a lowly IT intern. (Thankfully, my medical history was still close to zero then.)
Then, 2008 happened and I had to adjust to what I coined as my ‘new normal’.
Subsequently, 2010 happened and I had to re-adjust to yet another ‘new normal’.
I was beginning to fear for my future, especially in a productivity-centric society. Surely, every company would only want to hire a healthy employee who can work her days off with as little sick leave as possible.
Thankfully, the only form of marginalization I’m facing so far is insurance. In all other aspects, all I can say is that I must be a really lucky person to be surrounded with the people I’m with now.
I’m really grateful and indebted to the people who gave me a chance to prove myself despite the occasional flare-ups due to my compromised immune system. I believe I brought this up to you guys in person before but I was told ‘not to be silly’. (; Thanks to you, I managed to reach a point where I feel self-actualized in almost every single aspect of my life.
To those out there living with chronic illnesses, keep your chin up and stay awesome.
“I was very grateful to have heard it again. Because I guess we all forget sometimes.
And I think everyone is special in their own way. I really do.”– Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower
Cyclosphorine, please be nice to me. Kthx.
For the past one and a half weeks, I’ve been on Cyclosphorine to suppress my immune system. (I suffer from autoimmune urticaria since about 6 years ago, which turned aggressive only recently, basically causing my body’s immune system to attack my own skin and occasionally, joints.)
Cyclosphorine
Cyclosporine belongs to the group of medicines known as immunosuppressive agents. It is used to reduce the body’s natural immunity in patients who receive organ (for example, kidney, liver, and heart) transplants.When a patient receives an organ transplant, the body’s white blood cells will try to get rid of (reject) the transplanted organ. Cyclosporine works by preventing the white blood cells from doing this.
(Adapted from MayoClinic.)
It’s a pretty darn strong medication, commonly used to suppress the immune system of transplant patients to prevent organ rejection. I initially had my reservations about it, because of its multitude of side-effects, but eventually took the plunge because otherwise, the illness would just get worse. (And I’ve stopped responding to even the strongest H1 and H2-blockers out there.)
Well, it’s taking its toll – numb fingers and toes, the constant feeling of fatigue and weakness and the occasional nausea. And recently, low-grade fever. All part and parcel of being on Cyclosphorine but side-effects aside, it’s doing a pretty good job and preventing my flare-ups … so far.
I also need regular blood tests to ensure my white cells don’t fall too low, or that my kidneys don’t fail.
Above all, I’m also glad I’ve (finally) managed to find an awesome allergist/rheumatologist to take care of me. He’s one of the very few here in Singapore, so I’m mightily glad.
The doctor, a couple of friends and this forum (contributed to by a host of other people around the world with the same medical condition) has been a great source of support so far.
So, if you know me in real life and have been wondering why hadn’t I called you out in aeons for shopping/lunch/dinner/just bumming around, now you know why. I’ve been basically devoid of energy for quite a while. Please be patient with me, though – I’ll be back to my old self once I assimilate to Cyclosphorine!
Until then, please pardon me while I conk back off to sleep in bed. G’nitey.
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