Brenda on everything and nothing in particular

In the midst of my health insurance application right now and I can’t help but feel a little marginalized. And I’m pretty sure anyone out there with any form of medical history would be feeling the same way too.

In fact, some form of marginalization will definitely occur if you’re anywhere less than in perfect health, insurance or otherwise. I still clearly remember my part time waitressing stint at Swensen’s in 2005, when my manager grumbled aloud about how he sent one of my floor-mates back because she was feeling giddy (which was a nice gesture actually) which was then followed by “Can’t stand this kind of sick people. So useless and a waste of time only!”

That was then I promised myself that I’d never fall sick because this kind of managers are pretty much everywhere.

The point that ‘one should not be a sickie’ was further hammered in when I filled in my internship application for a local airline company in 2007, which asked for a medical history so detailed I felt I was applying to be in the police force instead of a lowly IT intern. (Thankfully, my medical history was still close to zero then.)

Then, 2008 happened and I had to adjust to what I coined as my ‘new normal’.

Subsequently, 2010 happened and I had to re-adjust to yet another ‘new normal’.

I was beginning to fear for my future, especially in a productivity-centric society. Surely, every company would only want to hire a healthy employee who can work her days off with as little sick leave as possible.

Thankfully, the only form of marginalization I’m facing so far is insurance. In all other aspects, all I can say is that I must be a really lucky person to be surrounded with the people I’m with now.

I’m really grateful and indebted to the people who gave me a chance to prove myself despite the occasional flare-ups due to my compromised immune system. I believe I brought this up to you guys in person before but I was told ‘not to be silly’. (; Thanks to you, I managed to reach a point where I feel self-actualized in almost every single aspect of my life.

To those out there living with chronic illnesses, keep your chin up and stay awesome.

“I was very grateful to have heard it again. Because I guess we all forget sometimes.
And I think everyone is special in their own way. I really do.”

- Stephen Chbosky, The Perks of Being a Wallflower

In no particular order;

1. A rush of warm water down your throat after a vigorous cough.

2. Taking a really good shit. The type that comes out all at one go. Not the occasionally ‘plunk plunk plunk’s that are ridiculously small with the effort needed to force them out.

3. Speaking of which, also getting a ‘Eureka!’ moment in the midst of (2), which qualifies as a double pleasure.

4. Having dark chocolate slowly melting in your mouth.

5. Taking off on a jet plane.

6. Long bus rides in a public, empty bus (extremely rare in crowded Singapore), with your favourite music plugged into your ears and a good book in your hands.

7. Hopping on a bus and going wherever it takes you.

8. The sense of satisfaction after solving a complex coding problem with less than 20 lines of code. (Only the geeks will get this.)

9. Having Starbuck’s Java Chip frappe during a rainy day.

10. Opening a parcel addressed to you that just arrived in the mail. (My latest shipment of books from The Books Depository, Cotton On or Indiesin. Well, girls will be girls.)

11. The rush of adrenaline when giving a public talk. (I’m starting to get used to this.)

12. Being surrounded by people you love, every single day – both at home AND at work.

The clock has struck midnight in Singapore. Happy 2013 to all of you out there, and may the year be filled with many awesome things to come.

Happy New Year!

Took the above photo 2 minutes to midnight. Yes, wearing a Santa hat. Because I go through this phase after 25th December every single year where I go around indignantly insisting that it’s still Christmas. (While the Christmas spirit still lingers in the West, there’s always this urgency to move towards Chinese New Year almost immediately after Christmas in Singapore and some other Asian countries, for reasons beyond me.)

Unfortunately, I still have no concrete plans on how to manage my obsessive perfectionist and workaholic tendencies as outlined in my look-back at 2012. Perhaps it could be a good thing – because making a concrete plan means that my perfectionist tendencies are still at work, aye?

So let me put forth a few liners which will be my mantras for 2013.

1. Moderation is key.
Dear Brenda, yes you love your work. And your work is a form of leisure to you. But still, take it easy. There’s such as thing as an overdose. And when you overdose on anything, you need to get your stomach pumped. Nasty, ain’t it?

2. Your health comes first.
Remember how you fucked up majorly in 2008, then 2010 and then 2012 because you failed to realize that you’re wearing out your body physically even though you weren’t yet stressed mentally. You don’t have much of your health left. Preserve your remaining mana, please.

3. Stop doubting yourself.
You have experienced enough ‘win’ moments in 2012 to show that anything is possible. When in doubt, put in more effort. Remember how you successfully delivered a 1.5 hour talk/sharing session and a 3 hour long workshop without cue cards (and with awesome slides to boot)? You always hated public speaking. Yet, you pulled it off. Keep that in mind, and walk forward.

4. Keep the curiosity alive.
It’s hard to keep staying curious when you’re going to the same places, doing the same things week after week after week. Visit a new cafe. Explore a new place. Just for goodness sake, STEP OUT OF THE DAMN HOUSE more often. And keep reading on a wide range of topics as you already do. Keep on staying inspired.

5. You seriously need to chill
i. Yes, things are fast paced. Things need to get done. But you can never think straight when you’re flustered. When in a state of panic, take a walk. Or just zone out. You’ll save yourself from making bad decisions … such as saying something nasty, writing bad code, or beating the crap out of your laptop until it no longer functions (now, that will be a disaster).

ii. You need your me-time. Spend time with yourself reading a great book, lounging by the pool, cycling, taking strolls. And damn, you need to stop feeling guilty about it. The issue with being so emotionally connected with work means the constant thoughts of “Man, I could have …” or “Gosh, I should be doing …”. Stop. That. Right. Now.

Now, step forth and enter 2013 with your head held high.

Page 2 of 55«123 4 5...»Last

Brendalogy Blog

Everyone is special in their own way

Life’s simple pleasures

Happy new year, every birdy!

Hello, I’m Brenda

Categories

Latest Entries

Still Lost?