Yesterday, Mom and I had a conversation about a cousin’s personality, about how X had become really a really quiet individual after he grew up.
“Yeah, he’s too quiet. That’s not good. He must change.” – says Mom.
For some reason, that annoyed me.
“What’s wrong with being quiet and introverted? That’s not a defect. That’s just the way he is and we should just let him be him!” I retorted.
Mum fell silent, considering my words.
Why do we live in a world where people are so obsessed with finding flaws with others and constantly trying to change other people?
Another conversation this time, where I spoke with a friend about how I was slightly struggling with my personal identity switch from being single to being part of a couple.
“Well, the single part. That was something you had to change,” she pointed out.
The fire within got re-ignited. And I suddenly recalled another conversation (more like an annoying encounter) with my dad’s acquaintence where he badgered me incessantly about “Got boyfriend or not (sic)? Where is your boyfriend?” when I’ve all but met him only five seconds ago.
Why is there so much vitrol against single people?
What is wrong with being single?
Don’t get me wrong. Although I am happily part of a couple now, I was also happy being single back then. And each time I have an encounter like this, I cannot help but still want to speak out for all the single folk out there.
I have a 60-something aunt who has been single all her life. I really respect her. She has had a fruitful career and is now happily retired and travelling the world, living life on her own terms. She’s freaking brave and I love it.
Conversely, there are couples who eventually get married and set their own terms together. Some choose to have kids and are happy. Others choose to not have kids and they are also happy, living life without any additional obligations and taking on the world together as a pair.
People are happy.
Let people live their lives on their own terms. (Within legal limits, of course. I’m not advocating extreme shit that harms other people).
More like, shall we not force people to fit into a mould?
Yessss, this is it.
I’ve booked my #SOLOYOLO trip for the year. Heading up to Vancouver next month, and hoping to make a side trip to the USA to catch the total solar eclipse.
I have been eyeballing this eclipse for years.
But honestly, I dawdled making the booking for many reasons.
1. Air ticket price. ($2106 on Cathay Pacific Airways is just, ouch.)
2. Another cousin couldn’t make it. And I was hesitant on making the long trip there on my own.
Actually, the air ticket price fell many times this year to $1790 and I had many chances to book. But reason number 2 was holding me back.
Granted, I took a trip to Hong Kong last year and I was going solo 50% of the time. I really liked exploring places on my own in a city I really loved. And there’s something about travelling alone that is really liberating.
Own time own target. (I can set my own pace. And pace is very important to me because my energy levels are very limited.)
Loads of self-discovery. Every experience alone reinforces what I like and what I don’t, what excites me and what doesn’t. I don’t usually reflect much on these thoughts when I’m with other people because distractions, and people sometimes alter the experience.
Feeling of independence. Enough said. Why company is always nice, I also enjoy doing things alone.
But Hong Kong is only 4 hours away. And Vancouver, 16 hours excluding transit time.
I’ll be far away from home.
But then again, both are cities that are somewhat familiar to me. And I’d be staying at a cousin’s place anyway so I’ll still have company.
When the price dropped to $1690 last weekend, it was a sign.
So I made the booking.
Now, to settle the eclipse portion of the trip and get rid of the butterflies that have started to form in my stomach.
Read an article about how our seemingly incessant consumption of clothing has led to potential environmental destruction, with unwanted clothes piling up in landfills.
Fast fashion, and clothing made with polyester and other manmade fibers (because it’s cheaper) seem to be the largest culprits. The former because their low costs had led people to buy more and in turn, throw away more. The latter, because it’s not biodegradable.
I looked up at my overflowing wardrobe and thought, oops.
Recently, I made the switch to preferring pure cotton for my clothing items, but only because it’s more comfortable given the heat in Singapore. Looks like I have an additional reason to add to that list.
So this year, I’ve decided to be more discerning about what I buy. It’s easy to get tempted especially with Instagram style pictures and online stores being just a tap away, but this is well worth a try.
The rod in my wardrobe broke from the sheer amount of clothing I owned back in 2015. That’s how bad it was. This will save me loads from what I don’t buy, as well as unnecessary repair costs.
To some extent, I’m already picky about the brands I choose to support (mainly because of their consistently good quality), so I guess I have some advantage there.
Now it’s more of to buy or not to buy?
That’s where it gets helpful for me to list down what do I exactly look out for in a piece of clothing that is expected to be timeless and last me for several years.
So, here’s the checklist I shall refer to from now on.
1. Must have pockets.
2. Must be easy to match.
3. Must be lightweight yet durable.
This is a struggle, because it’s impossible to gauge this when buying online. So I pay attention to the material type, and purchase only certain tried and tested brands online.
4. Must be able to cover the knees.
I wear knee guards because of regular joint pain from my illness. Anything that does not cover them ends up having very little mileage.
5. Must be something I will definitely wear.
If there’s even the slightest doubt about “is this something that I will wear?”, don’t buy it.
Let’s see how this pans out. On top of my consistent clearing of stuff that had very little mileage (read: rarely wear) on Carousell, this is a large step towards less clutter.