A best girlfriend has summarized what I generally feel about humankind oh so beautifully in her blog.
life is unfair, and that is personally a huge problem area, as i, for the life of me, cannot stand injustice – and day after day, i see things, hear things and read things which enrage me. things showcasing the hard fact that people are cruel, selfish, inconsiderate and evil, that they love stereotyping, gossiping, slandering, elevating themselves and putting others down; that people continuously repay good with evil and i remember asking c. in tears and consternation, “how can people be like that? why are people like that?” and i repeatedly asked where human decency was. (source)
I too, find myself asking the same question time and time again.
Even though I’ve long accepted the fact several years ago that the human race is doomed, I still find myself getting shell-shocked (which later leads to extreme fury) at the many injustices that human beings do to one another.
The prevalence of the internet only makes it all worse. The cloak of anonymity further releases one’s inhibitions, leading human beings to do further wrongs to one another without fear of reparation – although that is a separate issue altogether.
It was only today I discovered that – while I always thought I was a realist – there are several aspects in which I am more of an idealist than a realist. Human behaviour is one of these aspects.
Then again, who am I to judge? I have been dealt with much shit from some people around (which too, made me yell “why the fuck are people like that?”). But likewise, I have also been dishing out my fair amount of shit to other people. So all’s fair and square I guess. For now.
I still cling on to the hope that somehow, someday things may change.
That people will act with more consideration for other people, to pay more attention to others’ feelings, to learn to see things from other peoples’ point of view, to think more logically than emotionally, and for people to be more aware of what they are doing (perceptual salience of oneself leads to one’s conscious attempt to portray oneself more favourably).
But yeah, too lofty hopes up there.
Meanwhile, I’ll just live my own life and not let any of the shit get me down, or get in my way. When it comes to creating my own happiness, I will have to take charge – because the world is too screwed up to derive happiness from any other source. Not to mention how I have awesome friends for support. (And them, likewise!)
One thing I really do not regret is taking up two psychology-related elective modules despite doing a technology-related degree – ‘Introduction to Psychology’ in Spring 2008 and ‘Social Psychology’ in Fall 2008.
Psychology is a really awesome discipline. It looks deep into the human psyche, and the takeaways from the modules I took were largely relevant in real life. It enabled me to better understand the behavour and thought processes of the people around, and got me in touch with the inner-workings of my mind.
I still have the textbooks from both courses. Despite it being almost two years ago, I can still vividly recall how I could practically devour several chapters of the textbook in one sitting, even going to the point of reading the entire textbook despite several chapters being ‘not in the syllabus’.
Needless to say, I aced both courses. Fun stuff, really. (;
It was also through Psychology where I realized that there are many flaws in the way human beings reason. It remains a fact that the world is a judgmental place, and the bulk of it is the result of these flaws in reasoning.
Human beings do make use of a lot of ‘shortcuts’ methodologies when perceiving things around them. These shortcuts ARE useful – they do save us a lot of brain energy, and we come to conclusions much faster when using these shortcuts.
However, these shortcuts are often derived from the general ‘norms’ or typical observations of people – which often do not apply to all. Most of us make use of shortcuts so regularly to an extent we fail to realize that human beings are a broad, complex species with a myriad of values, mindsets and behavioral patterns that cannot be fitted into moulds.
Lemme’ share some of the most common reasoning errors!
To that doctor at Serangoon Gardens who examined my mum for presumptive gout late this afternoon.
All this while, my main point of contention was the obvious fact that you were displaying a blatant lack of Emotional Quotient (EQ) and that you have to be more mindful of your tone when dealing with your patients.
You, on the other hand, chose to hurl personal insults at me and demanded me to get out of the room – which I must say, is extremely out of line and highly unprofessional.
For one, you were practically barking orders at my mother right from the very second we entered the consultation room, in that superior, holier than thou tone which you adopted throughout the entire consultation session.
No, I am not picking on your outright frankness (unlike what you seem to think during the whole argument) when you practically spat the following words out at my mother – “At your age, first your knees give way. Then, your neck gives way. After that, your heart will also give way!”
Frank is good. But surely, there is a much better way to phrase that?
Add that on to the fact that you were constantly affirming your position as a medical professional – and how we should only listen to you and not anyone else’s advice, and how we shouldn’t argue when you tell us what to do and such.
Superiority complex, hello?
That was what I called you out upon. But you chose to miss the point altogether, deeming me as misinterpreting what you are saying, telling me that I am oversensitive and that I argue too much – even going to the point of saying that “I will never get a boyfriend because I am like that“.
WHAT. THE. ****?
You boasting about how doctors make use of laboratories, medical technology and theories and “keep emotions out of the picture” to treat a disease does not change the fact that you have terrible EQ. In fact, it only affirms my observations about you.
Dude, you fail to see the difference between emotions, and showing empathy.
You do not friggin’ treat a patient as an inanimate entity in which the disease is located. You treat the PATIENT as a whole – taking into consideration how they feel and paying attention to their rights (respect and dignity included). Not just the disease.
Then, you tried to defend yourself by saying that in the medical profession, words are thrown out the way they are. And even cited examples of how words like “going to hell” and “the patient’s going to die” are thrown around carelessly during lectures.
You’re still missing the point of my argument.
See here, my boy. How medical professionals talk to one another is none of my effin’ business. The crux of my argument is the fact that you are dealing with a PATIENT. Here is where ‘the ability to deal with people on a compassionate level’ comes into play.
Patients have genuine concerns, and are in most cases, either worried or anxious about their condition. Having to deal with doctors like you does not make things any better.
You seem to have this impression that just because you are a doctor who ‘heals people’, you are this superior being who possesses extraordinary powers and how people should marvel at your godliness and bow down to your feet.
Which was probably what led to your outright display of indignation (coupled with the ‘get out of the room’ remarks and personal insults) when the daughter of your patient decided to call you out on your misdoings.
Please. Get off that pedestal you’ve placed yourself on already.
You may have all the necessary paper qualifications, several years of service and experience behind your back, or whatsoever credentials it takes to become a doctor.
However, as long as you have a zilch EQ, terrible bedside manners, and that type of attitude you displayed today, you have failed in your duty as a doctor.
P/S: For the record – no vulgarities were spewed during the actual argument with said doctor. And I was struggling to keep my tone steady despite the verbal assault I was receiving from the other party. GRARR. ANGRY.