Whao. Where have all those years gone to? It still feels like yesterday where we first met one another in school or perhaps, having childish pillow fights during a vacation. The feeling is surreal.

Being officially in my mid-twenties now, I’m starting to feel the implicit societal pressure.

I’m 25 years old … and single for the full 25 years of my life. Yet, I’m beyond happy and absolutely satisfied with life right now.

Is there something wrong with me for feeling that way? Well, I don’t happen to think so.

But it seems like the rest of the world does. Remarks from relatives about me still existing as a single entity, attempts at matchmaking, the mortified expressions and disbelieving looks upon learning I’m happy being independent without feeling that I need a partner to be whole. These reactions pour in like lava and constantly make me question, well, what’s so wrong about being single?

Nothing, for sure. I’ve full control of my own time and I don’t need to account for anyone else other than myself. I’m fully enjoying singledom, apart from the occasional awkward clashes with folks who believe in the existence of the family unit.

Last weekend, I was caught in an unfortunate situation where a middle-aged lady suddenly grabbed me during a wedding and cooed about how cute I am (yes, awkward situation it was) and upon learning I was in my mid twenties, exclaimed “wow, so your turn to get married will soon come!”

“Err, I don’t think so,” was my barely enthusiastic response. She gave me a raised eyebrow.

“Why? No boyfriend? Awwwwwww, a girl like you shouldn’t have a problem finding one!”

“Well, I don’t want one. And I don’t want to get married,” said I. Her look of confusion turned into one of pure horror.

“DON’T SAY THAT!” she rebuked me, while I shrugged and made my exit. Oh well, I said it anyway.

Well, it ain’t easy being an independence-seeking, asexual girl in a conservative Asian society where the general mindset is that every individual should exist in a pair.

I’m not ruling out the possibility of me ever being half of a pair (with the other half, a boy or a girl) but I’m not going to do it just because it is something ‘expected’ out of me.

Everyone has different expectations with regard to what they want out of their lives. Some seek security, I thrive on unpredictability. Being part of a couple may mean the world to most but for me, being single is my world.

Hurrah!

I received my first comment in November 2001 and it made me shout aloud with glee. It was the “wow, there are people listening to me?!” kind of feeling, and it just spurred me on to write more.

So, write more I did. I started writing about my day in full detail, emphasizing on the funny and interesting bits. The number of comments and readership grew. Soon, I began to spot a few familiar names appearing over and over again in my comments. Out of curiosity, I checked out their sites and was hooked.

We became blogging pals, familiar to one another on the web but still strangers offline. Some were based in Singapore and some, overseas. They knew almost every bit of information about me (thanks to my blog entries). Likewise, so did I.

One thing for sure, I didn’t expect back then that we’d actually meet in real life.

Dayna, Cherlynn, Terry and I meet regularly now. And just last weekend, Chien Yee from Brunei happened to be in Singapore and we all decided to meet up.

First stop, Chinatown. Terry, Chien Yee, Dayna and I.

If I remember correctly, Chien Yee started reading my blog in end-2005, back when I was a wee university freshman. My entries back then were plagued with angst and a whole load of indecisiveness. But she stuck with reading my blog anyway, which is really awesome.

Second stop, Singapore Flyer. Supposedly to check out a flea market that never was.

Dayna is easily the longest-standing reader among the four. The very first comment she posted on my site was “Hi Brenda, Have a happy new year and may your new year be filled with joy and happiness… Cheers! =D”. This was soon followed by her second comment, “That was a bad day, but cheer up. Things are going to get better when we look on the bright side of life. =)”.

This was way back in late-2004. Fresh out of Junior College and also, very very angsty. Like Chien Yee, she overlooked all that and still stood by me and my blog through the good times and the bad. Dayna and I only officially met up for the first time in end-2009 … five full years after our first contact online.

At the Marina reservoir overlooking Marina Bay Sands and the city.

I only started reading Terry’s blog sometime early last year, a recommendation through Dayna. During my very first visit, something in his blog header jumped right out at me, and it was his (now) distinctive trademark quote, “No, I am not a teddy bear.” Well, it definitely stuck. So many times, I was (almost) on the verge of calling him ‘Teddy’. I’m glad I’m past that stage now and am getting his name right. :P

Terry is very much like me. Very, VERY quirky. Just check out the photo below to get what I mean.

Terry photobombing Dayna’s profile shot.

There was none of the usual awkward silences as when two strangers first meet up. Our background of being fellow bloggers for so many years helped, and we were into the happy chitty chatty moments stage within seconds.

Dayna and Chien Yee enjoying a Titanic moment.

Chien Yee and I enjoying an I-don’t-know-what moment.

Now, we’re out almost every weekend. Throgging flea markets and shopping like there’s no tomorrow (Dayna), singing out in public like we’re the only people in the world (Cherlynn) and talking and laughing just about anything (Terry).

Sitting by the Kallang river, waiting for Cherlynn to arrive.

Cherlynn is another Singapore-based blogger whom I got to know through Dayna and Terry. Prior to meeting her, I’ve never read her blog before and so meeting her for the first time was like going on a blind date. Well, it definitely was a good date.

Now, the vocal prowess of Cherlynn and I combined will never fail to drive Dayna crazy, because we are always demonstrating it at all the wrong times, and at the wrong places.

Cherlynn finally arrives for a group photo.

It’s amazing, ain’t it? Five different people from totally different walks of life … initially strangers, but brought together through blogging. Our paths would never have met otherwise.

I’ve absolutely no idea what they were doing. But a great photo, nonetheless.

And I’ve realized that whatever I’m writing now bears no relevance to the photos I’m posting. I haven’t made any mention of how that group outing with Chien Yee went. But I’m pretty sure the photos say it all.

Well, I have loads of things to thank blogging for. It helped me write better, think and express myself more coherently. But one thing for sure, it brought me together with awesome people like you guys. And when I say ‘you guys’, I mean every single one of you out there reading this.

Closing the say with a snapshot in the toilet. (Well, humans need to pee after all.)

I am still oh so amazed at how our paths crossed. And Chien Yee, I hope you’ve had a great day out with us and see you again in December!

I liked the feeling of natural air blowing at my hair as I rode the bus back from school back then, so I voiced my displeasure. I wrote a letter to SBSTransit (known as just SBS back then) expressing my distaste for how air-conditioned buses will pamper Singaporeans in general and cause more environmental pollution.

It was written on pink Hello Kitty paper, and I dropped it off at the information booth at the bus interchange while on my way back from school.

I didn’t expect a reply. But less than two weeks later, I received a postcard from SBSTransit, thanking me for my feedback and that they’d look into it.

Unfortunately, the postcard was intercepted by my then-family maid who passed it on to my mother, remarking that I’ve become a meddlesome creature who was making trouble for big agencies. Both then interrogated me about what I had written in the original letter and lambasted me for it.

I was since then, barred from writing letters to ‘big government companies’ because I was merely being a busybody and they won’t listen to a small fry like me. I was immensely annoyed, but didn’t say anything.

Less than two years later (when I was 14), a new neighbour moved in – whose window directly faced my home’s dining room where I studied every afternoon. The neighbour proved to be a disturbing one. His/her son would without fail, blast his infernal techno music at full volume every afternoon. Either that, or he would practise his guitar playing with the window wide open.

And I was trying to study.

Bearing in mind I was no longer allowed to write to ‘big government agencies’, I wrote directly to the neighbour – basically telling him/her that his/her son had to shut the hell up for the comfort of the other residents in their vicinity and for the general peace and quiet of the neighbourhood.

There was the sound of loud yelling from that neighbour’s house one afternoon. Apparently that of the neighbour screaming at the son for the daily afternoon din. Subsequently, every afternoon was filled with the song of silence, with the son’s window clamped shut.

A few days later, mum pointed out the sudden silence, bemused. “Eh, our neighbour is no longer making noise ah?”

So I pointed out that it was because I wrote to them.

She went white.

Just imagine her response after that. (Hint: It borders on the line of hysterical.)

This story doesn’t have a moral. This memory just suddenly came back to me once fine day and I wanted to share this because you know, just because “you are a small fry” doesn’t mean that you can’t make a difference in today’s society.

Society generally frowns upon people who speak up more than they should. But if everyone keeps silent at everything, there wouldn’t be change. Be daring to speak up, no matter how young you are.