Sidenote: Sudden surge of backdated posts on this blog lately. Been writing random stuff in my iPhone notes during this year and rediscovered how carthartic writing is. Maybe this blog might gain a life of its own again.
This is weird.
It’s 2 days before I jet off to Vancouver. But I haven’t packed. I haven’t finished my itinerary. I haven’t researched.
In fact, my mood for the trip has all but fizzled out.
I blame the happenings of this week. After all the firefighting, the only thing that’s on my mind when I came home on all days this week is sleep. And even then, I couldn’t sleep. Recollections (more like nightmares) of the week’s happenings kept appearing in my dreams.
Insert random thought here: I’ve let the actions of assholes affect me too deeply again. This is so not worth it.
Throughout the week, my brain has been constantly switching between “I can’t wait for this break” and “this was a bad, bad idea”.
It’s about 48 hours before I fly. I’m still exhausted. And I’m worried I cannot recuperate the energy levels I need to take on this trip alone.
In Singapore, it’s okay. Because I usually operate on autopilot anyway.
But when I’m overseas and alone, I cannot afford to be this exhausted. I need to stay on alert. I cannot afford to let my attention drift. This takes additional mental energy.
And to be honest, this trip has also contributed partially to my stress levels. Because there’s always plenty to do each time before I jet off on a holiday.
Such #FirstWorldProblems, I know.
Perhaps the exhilaration will begin once I step on board the plane, like how it always does previously.
Oh, and all plans to chase the total solar eclipse in the USA are abandoned. Partially disappointed because the eclipse was supposed to be the highlight. But the cost of a 3D2N trip down south costs upwards of $1K USD per person. (Ouch.)
My bad, really. Eclipse chasers typically plan ahead 1-2 years before the event. And here I am trying to pull a 1-month stunt.
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