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I write with no particular theme in mind, because I am random like that.

Jul
08 2014

12:05 AM

Health

2 comments

Still trying to look on the brighter side of things

Though it’s getting a little harder, considering how it’s been 2 months and counting.

I’m pretty much home-ridden now. And no matter how I had sought to make my room my ‘ultimate hang out spot’ much earlier this year, I realized it’s possible to get absolutely sick of it.

Work kept me going for a while, until I found it difficult to navigate stairs. After 3 close-to-passing-out moments in and around the office, I made the difficult decision to work from home.

Many a time, I find myself missing my normal life.

Going to work every weekday like a regular person.

Having the freedom to just get out of the house to walk anywhere I want, whenever I want.

Having regular conversations with people that do not revolve around health and “eh, what happened to you?”.

I’m still trying to psych myself into thinking that there is a good side to all these. Like hey, you still CAN work (albeit from home). You have not lost your mental capacity to write amazing code. You’re still making a worthwhile contribution to society. (As for the mental capacity to think rationally, well … that’s rather debatable now.)

And the fact that mum and I are much, much closer than before. She’s been really supportive the past 2 months and a half, taking me out for drives when I whine about being too bored at home, spending all her free time with me in the hospital when I was admitted, stocking the house with ample supplies of isotonic drinks and uh, comfort food.

Not to mention how much I prefer to be alone right now and home is the perfect place for me to get all reclusive. (And I’m still pretty much ignoring all my texts as well – sorry, friends. Really. Don’t. Want. To. Talk. About. It.)

And that every day is a step closer to full recovery (I hope). I still feel like crap now but I guess I just have to be patient.

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2 Comments

  • 24 Aug 2014
    2:02 AM

    Melissa

    Surprisingly I can totally understand where you’re coming from. And I as well am homebound. A little over a year ago I had surgery on my entire lower back. We were all hopeful that after the year healing process I’d be back to my old self but that didn’t pan out as expected.

    I’ve also tried to make my room the best hang out spot ever but you’re definitely right that even that can finally start to piss you off.

    I wish you the best of luck and I’ll be praying for you. If I was a wizard, I’d totally use my magic wand to cure us!!

    • 11 Sep 2014
      12:25 PM

      brendalogy

      Hello! Wishing you a speedy recovery too. (: And totally, if only everything could be cured with the wave of a magic wand.

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