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Hello, I blog!

I write with no particular theme in mind, because I am random like that.

10 2011

Hereby I remain, a monoatomic individual

I’ve reached the age where I’m increasingly seeing more and more people within my own circle tying the knot and starting their own families.

Whao. Where have all those years gone to? It still feels like yesterday where we first met one another in school or perhaps, having childish pillow fights during a vacation. The feeling is surreal.

Being officially in my mid-twenties now, I’m starting to feel the implicit societal pressure.

I’m 25 years old … and single for the full 25 years of my life. Yet, I’m beyond happy and absolutely satisfied with life right now.

Is there something wrong with me for feeling that way? Well, I don’t happen to think so.

But it seems like the rest of the world does. Remarks from relatives about me still existing as a single entity, attempts at matchmaking, the mortified expressions and disbelieving looks upon learning I’m happy being independent without feeling that I need a partner to be whole. These reactions pour in like lava and constantly make me question, well, what’s so wrong about being single?

Nothing, for sure. I’ve full control of my own time and I don’t need to account for anyone else other than myself. I’m fully enjoying singledom, apart from the occasional awkward clashes with folks who believe in the existence of the family unit.

Last weekend, I was caught in an unfortunate situation where a middle-aged lady suddenly grabbed me during a wedding and cooed about how cute I am (yes, awkward situation it was) and upon learning I was in my mid twenties, exclaimed “wow, so your turn to get married will soon come!”

“Err, I don’t think so,” was my barely enthusiastic response. She gave me a raised eyebrow.

“Why? No boyfriend? Awwwwwww, a girl like you shouldn’t have a problem finding one!”

“Well, I don’t want one. And I don’t want to get married,” said I. Her look of confusion turned into one of pure horror.

“DON’T SAY THAT!” she rebuked me, while I shrugged and made my exit. Oh well, I said it anyway.

Well, it ain’t easy being an independence-seeking, asexual girl in a conservative Asian society where the general mindset is that every individual should exist in a pair.

I’m not ruling out the possibility of me ever being half of a pair but I’m not going to do it just because it is something ‘expected’ out of me.

Everyone has different expectations with regard to what they want out of their lives. Some seek security, I thrive on unpredictability. Being part of a couple may mean the world to most but for me, being single is my world.


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  • 10 Dec 2011
    7:26 AM


    So I’m not asexual, and I did dabble in a serious relationship once when I was a teenager, but really, people need to realise not everyone who’s single is looking, miserable, desperate or, in the Cantonese sayings, “leftover sugarcane” or “orange at the bottom of the basket”.

    • 11 Dec 2011
      3:35 AM


      “Not everyone who’s single is looking, miserable, desperate …”

      You’re so right!

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