Slowly but surely, I am getting my old self back.
Suddenly, having to live with chronic illnesses doesn’t seem so bad anymore. It depends on the way I look at things, I guess. I admit – it was too much for me to deal with and I plummeted head first, sinking deeper and deeper (particularly towards the end of last year and the beginning of this year) until some friends decided enough was enough and yanked me out of the mess before I self-destructed.
That was about a month ago.
Since then, the end of March and the beginning of April has been considerably brighter. The bounce is back in my step, and I have regained my enthusiasm for … almost everything I used to be enthusiastic about. (For lack of a better way to phrase things. Hur.)
I may not have control over my illnesses, I still have full control of my own emotions, and I cannot let the illness get the better of me and take over.
Looking back, I realized I had let it take over way too much. Granted, it was tough, having health issues/relapses hit me at the back of my head one after another when I’ve barely crawled out of the previous one, not to mention the discrimination I had to occasionally face. At first I was bouncing back the way I usually did, until the energy eventually fizzled out and I just gave up.
It’s been two years. If I don’t come to terms with the fact the doctors visits, tests and whatnots have become a part of my life by now – gee, it’d be an epic fail on my part, man.
Well, I can safely say now that I’ve accepted that fact.
And I’m ready to live life in spite of it.
Life goes on; there are fun activities to engage myself in, places to explore, and sights and scenes to view, capture and keep in memory. Plus, I have awesome people surrounding me all the time who keep me laughing.
One closest friend says that I almost am back to my old self pre-2008, which made me really happy as it is a clear validation of my success at getting back on my feet.
To the friends who have stood by me despite it all, and having to cope with my negative personality ‘transformation’, rant-iness and irritability, thanks for being there even though I wasn’t exactly good company the past year or so.
To the blog readers who are still reading despite me dishing out stream after stream of blog posts complaining about almost every single darn’d thing, major salute to you guys. Likewise, thanks for sticking around during the difficult times (and standing up for me when I get bullied, heh).
I look up to the sky and now the world is mine
I’ve known it all my life; I made it, I made it.
(Kevin Rudolf – I Made It)
I may be a sick kiddo, but so what? I have awesome doctors taking care of me, friends who stand by me, parents who show support in every way they can. Plus, I have myself back – almost – and I’m ready to kick the ass of anything else life decides to deal me with.
Meanwhile – but unrelated – I am seriously itching to get some DDR action at the moment but it’s past midnight and the last thing I want to do is to annoy the neighbours downstairs or put a dampener on their err … night time activities.