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I write with no particular theme in mind, because I am random like that.

06 2010

Corruption of the little minds

Here’s me recounting one of them’ hilarious scenarios (or rather, an example of how us older’ folk are comparatively um … less innocent than the little kiddos) from last week’s trip with the extended family.

It was me and two teenage cousins lazing around on the bed watching Youtube videos on my laptop, when we chanced upon a parody of Black Eyed Peas’ “I gotta’ feeling” (which also happens to be my favourite parody of all time) retitled “I’m a Korean”.

You can take a sneak peek at the video here. It’s utterly hilarious, I kid you not.

(Disclaimer: I highly doubt the video creator meant any offense against Koreans, neither do I. The video was made by its rightly creator for the sake of humour, not to stir shit or whatsoever.)

Apparently, in that video, there were several lines that sparked peals of laughter among the cousins and myself.

Quote 1:
I have a missile
It’s very small
It’s in my pants
I can’t get it up!

Honestly, I’ve watched the video many times before and never made the connection between the above and the male organ. Until one of my teenage cousins began laughing at that point which was when I finally made the connection (and was astounded at how much the 14-year old girl cousin knew).

Quote 2:
I think Michael Jackson’s a good guy
I don’t mind if he sleeps with young guys
Because in my country
we can touch young guys on their p***s.

This was the part that led to loud eruptions of laughter, along with repetitions of the very last line, along with that censored p-word.

It was only seconds later when we suddenly fell silent because we had completely forgotten that 7-year old Nicole, along with 3-year old Rachel were sitting just right beside us. (And the video, if subjected to the stringent checks movies undergo, will quite possibly be rated at least M18.)

There was an uncomfortable silence for a while, before the dreaded question came.

Nicole blinked once, twice, looked at us with a completely innocent, blur expression and asked, “Gor gor (Mandarin for ‘big brother’), jie jies (Mandarin for ‘big sisters’), what is a penis?

We remained silent, and simply exchanged helpless glances. We really did not know how to answer her.

The youngest of my teenage cousins eventually responded sheepishly, “well, you’re too young to know!

Later that night, all of us were blasted (albeit, jokingly) by the oldest cousin, who happened to be the father of both Nicole and Rachel.

“WHAT HAVE YOU ALL BEEN TEACHING MY DAUGHTERS?” the oldest cousin demanded. The two teenage cousins concerned and myself simply gave him a dazed look, trying our darnest best to look as innocent as possible.

“What have you been telling them, man?” he questioned again. “Why did my two daughters suddenly come up to me just now and asked me what is a penis?

That was when we erupted into peals of laughter again for the second time that day.

Little Nicole at that moment, decided to show of her newly acquired knowledge.

I know! I know what a penis is!

We looked at her.



Oh, and earlier that afternoon, the same couple of teenage cousins were rattling on and on about um … erections and stuff. And they are only … what? Fourteen? And the other is twelve.

Gee, they do start sexuality education reeeeeeally early these days.

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  • 08 Jan 2010
    12:19 AM


    To us, they seem too young to know this stuff, but I think I knew about it when I was 14 too.
    Also, that video is pretty funny. But I think he mixes up Korean and Japanese. Cuz he kept talking about Pokemon and konichiwa… pretty sure that’s Japanese!

  • 09 Jan 2010
    9:39 PM


    i don’t get it… you mean to say kids in general do not know what penises are at age 7?! you’re kidding me right… don’t parents teach them anything?

    it’s not even the birds and the bees talk, it’s just teaching them what their private parts are called!

    Brenda’s reply:
    No lah, I am expressing my surprise at:

    1) Them being able to make the connection between missiles that ‘cannot stand up’ to the male organ.

    2) Them knowing what erections and ejaculations are.

    I (along with most of my friends then) did not know all these at age 12. Only difference being sexuality education back then as started in Secondary 3/4, whereas now, it’s been brought forward to Primary 4-6. (;

    And in childhood, the term ‘cuckoo bird’ is used more often than anything else which is why most kids are not very aware of the male organ’s proper names!

    Certain parents only choose to introduce their children to the proper names and terms during sexuality education once they reach a more sensible age, like my older distant cousin – which explains for Rachel and Nicole’s excessive innocence.

  • 16 Jan 2010
    8:39 PM


    haha alright! was browsing through the newest batch of clothes you’re selling, and the F21 checkered top is so cute!

  • 17 Jan 2010
    1:29 AM


    Haha, that’s some funny stuff. Although, I don’t think that 14 is early for sex ed. In my school district, they start teaching sex ed in fifth grade (9-10 years old). Granted, it’s not like they teach you everything at that age. They split up the boys and the girls and they teach the boys about boy stuff, and the girls the girl stuff (like menstruation). In middle school is when they start getting into a tiny bit more detail and make it co-ed.

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