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I write with no particular theme in mind, because I am random like that.

May
09 2008

Guess who got locked in the toilet?

Had a family reunion-cum-hangout session at my aunt’s hotel room in Fairmont Hotel this evening.

Decent place, lovely view and the toilet was like whoa – white, classy and modern. Cousins settled on the bed with their eyes glued to the television set, while the adults settled at a nearby table for a round of cards.

That was when I decided to use the toilet. (For obvious reasons.)

Closed the door, latched it, did whatever I had to do, washed hands and then proceeded to unlock the door and get out.

The last two steps failed.

Stupid door refused to unlock. The stupid latch was jammed in place.

That was when I yelped, and sent everyone outside scurrying over to the toilet door. (At least, that was what I thought – because all of a sudden, I heard a lot of talking and footsteps outside my door.)

Then, I heard Aunty Olive yell.

“OH SHIT! I FORGOT TO TELL BRENDA NOT TO LOCK THE DOOR! THE LOCK IS SPOILT!”

Now, she tells me.

More murmurings could be heard from outside and I heard that apparently – my cousin David had been locked in this very same bathroom in the afternoon, and all efforts at prying the door open using normal means failed. Engineers had to be called in to force the door open with a screwdriver.

My Uncles then began using metal spoons to open the door in a similar fashion – but failed. The stupid door just refused to open.

Housekeeping was called to report the issue.

Ten minutes later, no one had arrived and I was starting to get really agitated. (Yes, I know that the toilet is all modern and classy and all, but I wouldn’t like to be stuck there for an extended period of time with nothing to do except for when I need to have a good shit, thank you.)

Uncles continued to fiddle with the door, and even my mum and my grandmother attempted to have a go at attempting to open the door. Of course – likewise, all attempts failed.

Housekeeping was called again.

Still, no one arrived. Those bums were taking their own sweet time to tend to this issue.

Cousin David attempted to keep me company from outside the door (and likewise, also attempting to pry the lock loose), but it’s hard to have a normal conversation with someone when you can’t even see his face. (Perhaps the same reason why I hate phone conversations.)

Then, one of my relatives dialed for the manager.

The doorbell rang within five minutes. More footsteps were heard as my relatives scurried over to the door. Then, I heard someone jiggling the handle, sounds of scraping metal and the next thing I knew – the door flew open.

Unfortunately, that’s not the end of the story.

The fellow then proceeded to fiddle with the open door further, possibly attempting to find the reason behind why the lock would suddenly jam. After much knocking and fiddling – he asked another housekeeping fellow to enter the toilet and double-lock it from inside to test whether it was working.

This time, the housekeeping fellow managed to unlock the door without any issue, even when he activated the double-lock. (I only used a single lock, meaning that I turned the lock once rather than twice.)

He was asked to try again, and still no issue.

The first housekeeping fellow then turned towards me.

“How come it’s okay now?”

How the fuck would I know? I thought.

“You see, when you double lock the door – you have to turn the knob twice.” He carried on, as if I was stupid and did not know how a double lock worked.

“Look, the thing is – I did not even double-lock the door. I just turned the knob once – single lock!” I explained.

“Ah ha! Then perhaps when you tried to unlock the door, you turned the knob in the same way and instead of unlocking the door, you locked it further?”

That was when I snapped.

“LOOK. I turned the knob to the left when I locked the door, and turned it to the right when I tried to unlock it. I KNOW my directions.”

GRAR.

That damned door is spoilt and all these fellows know how to do is to throw accusations around. My cousin was locked in that toilet of yours this afternoon as well, which means that the lock is indeed kaput.

And furthermore, does my Uncle need to phone you guys three times before you’d even bother to come around? I mean, someone’s stuck in the toilet here, for the love of mankind – and you can still gallivant at your own pace?!?

Hmmph. At least, that classy and modern toilet made the experience quite tolerable.

Imagine a dark, gloomy and stinky one.

Whatever it is – if anyone out there decides to stay at Fairmont Hotel, Singapore anytime soon, be very, very careful especially if you’re assigned to room number 2120. You might end up being stuck in the toilet as well.

Oh, and be prepared to wait very, very long should you phone Housekeeping for anything. (Regardless of what room you stay in.)

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9 Comments

  • 10 May 2008
    8:50 AM

    Cindy

    Aww >< I’m sorry you had to go through that. It’s happened to me, too. ==

  • 10 May 2008
    11:26 AM

    Valerie

    I haven’t been stuck in the toilet before, but I’ve seen some kids get stuck in a handicap toilet once, and they were crying inside. I hope that I’ll never have such an experience!

    The housekeeping really sucks if they take so long to come and “save” someone. Imagine being the only one in the hotel room and getting stuck in the toilet! Having to wait so long would be unbearable.

  • 10 May 2008
    5:50 PM

    Chans

    I guess you were very lucky to have other people around to let housekeeping know you where locked in. Imagine being by yourself and locking yourself in, without a phone…

  • 10 May 2008
    5:53 PM

    Chien Yee

    Pushing the blame? It quite reminds me of my amah at home. She’d blame everything on me when its 100% her fault. It’s just because I’m younger, yada yada, that she can blame me. Thank goodness my mom listens to me more :P

  • 10 May 2008
    10:23 PM

    SG

    I’ve been locked in many places but never a bathroom before. That must suck! At least they eventually came to let you out. I was locked in a laundry room before and it took an hour to get me out. When they finally did, they had to break down the door!

  • 11 May 2008
    2:14 PM

    aileen

    shucks! scar-eee. good thing she had the family for moral support all throughout the ordeal :)

  • 11 May 2008
    7:42 PM

    gurge

    Hello! I’m glad you noticed… the site was really beginning to die… :(
    now at gurged.com… do change links, and do visit often… i’m baccck! haha…

  • 12 May 2008
    4:17 AM

    Hev

    WTF!!! They wouldn’t have taken that long. I would have been screaming the hotel down. I can’t stand to be in a locked room. I am too claustrophobic (spelling?). I am glad that you are all right.

  • 12 May 2008
    11:20 AM

    Anna

    LMAO @ “Imagine a dark, gloomy and stinky one.”

    The situation seemed kind of hilarious – Asian relatives always blame each other, it’s a bad habit :( Sorry you had to go through all that :(

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